Bitter Twists of Existence
by Cherry-Bay
Summary: PG-16 --- set after hp:ootp. the new schoolyear starts. the train ride to hogwarts. spoilers for order of the pheonix
1. Prologue

disclaimer: all belongs to the wonderful woman J.K. Rowling.  
  
This story contains  
  
!!!!!!!**SPOILERS FOR HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHEONIX**!!!!!!!  
  
do not read if you haven't finished the book.  
  
BITTER TWISTS OF EXISTENCE  
  
Summer vacation. What a hollow prospect. Mother is downstairs raving at her newest target, the houselves. A loud resounding bang! disturbes mothers screaming. Life is utter hell. With him gone it is like the house is slowly falling to pieces, dying right under our fingers; we know that we are incable of doing anything. Luxury, peace and quiet have been riped from us in a matter of mere days. Potter. The name makes my heart contract with the deepest hate I have ever felt for anyone. He made me feel worthless the first time we ever met. He continued his blalantly idiotic way of handling things and rejected my hand stretched out to him in friendship. From that day on I hated him with a passion. Everytime I saw him and his stupid minions I felt an ice-cold hand reach for my heart and sqeeze. Slowly, over the next four years I learned what it meant to hate. And now? Now I want to go and rip his limbs from his oh-so-perfect body, want him to scream in agony, want him to wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares that are worse than those Voldemort sends him. I want him to suffer. To wipe that self-loving look off his face. I hate him. He took away my freedom and that of my whole family. He sent my father to Azkaban.  
  
Another crash and the loud screaching of one the houseelves. Then quiet. Death suddenly seems touchable. Burrying my head in my shoulders I wish once more that Lucius were here.  
  
Several hours and a nightmare later I find myself wandering down into the Entrance Hall. As I pass the open door to Lucius' study I have the fleeting image of something red seeping into the carpet. Not bothering I trudge towards the living room, looking for mother. There is no one there. Shrugging, I try to remember if there was anything she had planned for the afternoon. Suddenly a high-pitched scream tears through the mansion. The absolut horror in the voice kicks me into action and I sprint into the hallway. There, in the door to Lucius' study, stands our only human servant. Her hands raised to cover her face, violent sobbs escaping her. I walk up to her and move past.  
  
Blood. Everything is red. I don't remember myself screaming when I saw her body on the floor. The red liquid that escaped her wrists, staining her white sleeves and the green carpet. Her beautiful long hair is spread across the floor like a halo, tinted with red. Without realising I have dropped to the floor next to her, clutching her to me, her blood mingling with my tears. My screams seem to have ripped our maid out of her horrified trance. She runs towards the fireplace and makes an urgent call to St. Mungos. Several minutes later His study is flooded with mediwizards and healers. They pulled me away from my mother and placed me onto the couch. A blond witch came over to me and handed me a potion. I refused and simply watched mothers dead body being lifted onto a stretcher and taken out through the fireplace. Several healers were trying to talk to me but I ignored them. I wiped my hands over my face creating long red smears of my mothers precious blood on my pale features. Not listening to anyone I wandered up the stairs and locked myself into my room. Hours later the door was opened by Snape. My godfather gathered me into his arms and left Malfoy Manor. He brought me to the Snape Mansion where I now will reside for the remainder of the holidays. Then I return to Hogwarts.  
  
I found a piece of parchment with her farewell notice. It said something about Lucius being in Azkaban, how she could not cope, that she loved me, that she knew that I knew what I had to do.  
  
I got the Mark last week. I hope I will make her proud.  
  
*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*°*  
  
read and review. merci. should i continue, or leave it at this? 


	2. Chapter the First

disclaimer: not making any money... yada yada yada. all belongs to J.K.Rowling, the great goddess.  
  
rating: not quite sure... it will be R though in a short while warnings: mention of suicide and alround eeeeeeevil stuff  
  
The first of September, Kings Cross Station  
  
Platform 9 3/4 was crowded. Wizards were milling around, parents giving their children last minute advice, kissing their cheeks, patting their hair.  
  
Draco Malfoy walked through the throng, his appearance immaculate and perfect as always. The tall blonde entered the Hogwarts Express and quickly found an empty compartment. Gracefully flopping down in the middle of a seat he pulled out a leather bound book and started flipping through the pages.  
  
The train lurched into motion and Draco gazed outside, seeing parents waving to their children. The Slytherin's eyes darkend with a sudden emotion and he quickly focused back on his book shutting out the world around him.  
  
About ten minutes into the journey the cabin door was ripped open and a cloud of perfume entered forcefully. Not even bothering to look up he adressed the new-comers.  
  
"Pansy, Millicent, Crabbe, Goyle."  
  
"Draco! How was your summer, dearest?" The sweeter cloud of perfume had sat down next to Draco and was leaning her head against his shoulder.  
  
"Would you refrain from doing that, Pansy." Draco still had not put his book aside.  
  
"Oh, Draco. Now come along and put that silly book away."  
  
The Slytherin shut his book and looked down at Pansy. "What."  
  
"Your summer? How was it?" Pansy gazed at Draco from beneath her eyelashes.  
  
---- blood running over pale skin, staining white sleeves ----  
  
"Relaxing. Yours?"  
  
"Oh! It was simply delightful! We went to France. The weather was beautiful and everything was just so perfect. You would have loved it there."  
  
"Indeed. And you? Crabbe? Goyle?" Draco's voice was flat.  
  
"Uh... i went to visit my aunt Agatha over in Scotland." Goyle muttered.  
  
Draco's attention went to Crabbe.  
  
"Nothin'. My parents went to Greece and I stayed home alone."  
  
"Fascinating. Millicent?"  
  
The heavyset girl was sitting near the window, gazing outside. Her eyes were unfocused and she seemed far away.  
  
"Millicent."  
  
"Oh. Me... sorry. I stayed at home, too."  
  
Draco raised an eyebrow. "Well it sounds as if we all had great holidays. I will be getting something off the trolley."  
  
With that Draco stood and let Pansy flop into the seat uncerimonously.  
  
The trolley witch was standing infront of an open compartment door conversing with the students inside.  
  
"Any chocolate frogs, dear?"  
  
"No, thank you."  
  
Draco stiffend as he recognized the voice.  
  
Standing next to the trolley witch he could see Harry Potter sitting with Ginny Weasley, Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood.  
  
Potter's glasses were askew and his hair dissheveled. Draco felt an intense coldness spreading through him, slowly seeping into his heart. Their eyes met. Harry stared at Draco, nearly cringing at the pure hatred emmanating from the tall Slytherin's eyes. But instead he looked back defiantly.  
  
"Excuse me. I would like three chocolate frogs and an iced pumkin juice." Draco's voice was cold and the trolley witch handed the frogs and bottle over quickly.  
  
His eyes never leaving Harry's Draco gave the witch her money. With a final hard gaze the Slytherin walked back into the direction he had come from.  
  
Harry stared after his nemesis and shuddered. Ginny looked over to Harry.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You know exactly what I mean. Malfoy. He didn't do anything." Ginny sounded amazed.  
  
"Perhaps he got over his childish behavior?" Luna muttered into her magazine.  
  
Neville looked at Luna, then at Ginny and Harry. "I don't think so. That look he gave you... I'd say you're in for a lot worse this year than usual."  
  
°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°~°  
  
read and review. merci.  
  
here be it! The second chapter. rather a lot shorter than i would have liked but i just thought that the ending was better to stay the way it's now... 


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